“There are many things that I wish for and without wanting to sound like a martyr, many of those things are not for me but for the people around me”, my mother mused. “I wish I could make you happier but I can’t bring him back.”
It was a simple sentence but it pierced me to the core. My eyes filled with tears and I felt the suffocating bubble of misery close in around me. I looked past its claustrophobic film, trying to stop my tear ducts from going into overdrive in such an embarrassingly public place.
The last couple of weeks have been dark and yet sometimes I have felt like I had pulled myself to my feet, ready to attempt climbing a little further away than the rock bottom I dwelled in. Suddenly however, I found myself propelled back to the depths of my pit with nothing to grip onto to. The attempt had failed.
And yet, though I stand no longer, I sit instead of lie on the hard painful ground. There are more engulfing waves to come but I am confidant that I might find my feet once more.
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