When I run, I always put my MP3 on shuffle mode. On a lucky day, the combination of songs will be so good that my feet will keep moving effortlessly on the treadmill. Time flies by. My spirits lift. On a worse day, I will spend two minutes between every song clicking the forward button compulsively and then berating myself for doing so too quickly hence passing something I wanted to listen to. I am bored. I try to distract myself by practicing my fractions and calculating how many fifths, sixths or even twelfths of a minute I have left…until the next minute. Nevertheless, the seconds drag on. The prerogative of the shuffle button being to propel me into the unknown after each song, it is unfortunately thorough and refuses any predictability whatsoever including the option of returning to the song I had just heard by pressing the back button.
And so when I plugged my earphones in for the first time in ages today, it could have gone either way. I tentatively put one foot in front of the other. Slowly, I felt the bass reverberate through my body and the rhythm course through my veins. With every heartbeat, an almost forgotten sense of unpolluted optimism was pumped to my head. I swayed my hips and tossed my hair. The gentle click-clack of my stilettos exuded a strength and confidence that had long been absent.
But as the lyrics died down, the sounds of reality filled my head. The next melody was too long in coming. One step forward, three steps back…
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