My Phone, My Frenemy

I woke up this morning to the unnecessarily loud ring tone of my alarm and it hit me all over again as it does every time I leave the wonderful world of sleep:

I am still Ms Havisham.

I am still jilted and unemployed. I am still the lost cause of the twenty first century.

In its semi conscious state, it was almost as if my body had realised this before my mind. It did not want to leave the warm cocoon it had been nestled in for the past few hours, out into the cold harsh reality of daylight and the technological marvel that is the snooze button could only do so much in its procrastination.  

However, I have a new phone and it is perhaps more clever than most. The traditional button lets you press it and go back to sleep, safe in the knowledge that it will ring again after however many minutes you plugged into your phone settings as well as in a mild panic, wondering whether you’ve pressed the “Stop” button instead. You are therefore ensured the extra five minutes of sleep (or forty five in my case) will never be of the highest quality thus making the whole process slightly redundant. It seems phone programmers never factored that when you are half asleep, the words “stop” and “snooze” look remarkably similar into their otherwise genius invention.

My phone on the other hand, requires me to tell it whether I want to sleep another five, ten, fifteen, twenty, etc… minutes every time the alarm rings. This is possibly because I haven’t figured out how to change the settings yet but that is beside the point. The beauty of this is that to do so, it requires marginally more concentration than just hitting whichever button begins with an “S” and having a fifty/fifty chance of not waking up three hours later and gracing your neighbour’s ears with an explosion of profanity. And thus, I now wake up a little quicker.

Once the mind is awake, it becomes easier to successfully embark upon the next quest of coercing the first foot out from underneath the bedcovers…almost.